Yeah, that’s kinda me right now. I got the Biggest Loser Cardio Max Weight Loss DVD for myself last week, and I did (most of) my first workout with it tonight. I’m starting way low because, well, I’m a big, giant, fat slob and I don’t want my partner to find me dead of a heart attack when he comes down in the morning.

The thing I love about this line of videos is that the people in the videos, aside from the trainer, are big people. They’re not Evil Blonde Aerobics Bunnies and Giant Humpy Muscleheads. They’re people who need these videos. It’s kind of inspiring, to a point.

I got 25 minutes into a 35-minute workout before I had to stop because I just couldn’t finish. I’m… kind of a self-loathing mess right now. I know I should be proud that I did what I could, that 25 minutes today is better than the zero minutes yesterday, that it’s better than the zero minutes that I’ve done for the last six weeks. I’m having problems getting myself into that mindset, though, and I don’t know how to get out of this shame-and-hate spiral.