48:01

48:01 was my time for the Jingle Bell Run.

Here’s the map and my activity level. Started at Nationwide and High. Ran to State street, walked to Fulton, ran to Blenkner, walked to Rich, ran to Gay, walked to Chestnut, ran to the finish.

And still it took me nearly a fucking hour to finish.

Everyone will say that they’re proud of me, that I finished the race, that it’s an accomplishment, that I should be proud of what I did.

Except I’m not. In October, I walked a full 5K two weeks ago in 45 minutes. Seriously, there was no running involved in that 5K, and it was slower than today’s.

I feel like a miserable failure at this, and I don’t know how to not feel like a miserable failure at it.

I do know that this is not the end of my running, and it’s not even the end of me doing 5K running. By next year, I want to be able to run the whole 5K. I may re-boot the Couch to 5K program and call it my C25K Boot-in-the-Ass program.

This is seriously making me feel shitty. More than anything, I feel like I let down my donors. I know I let down myself.

48:01 | Give Mama Some Sugar Says:

December 3, 2011 at 11:36 PM

[...] Crossposted from Fat Family Fitness [...]

NotNevada Says:

December 4, 2011 at 2:21 PM

First of all…Congratulations! You’ve just completed another 1st in your life. I’m so excited that you’re not letting how you feel today, get in the way of future runs.

Second…You are letting your donors down. Was there some sort of contract that stated, in order to receive pledges that you would “run” the entire race? I didn’t see that one. Nope! Buddy, you’re beating yourself up. You had set the goal to run. Even the title of the race is “Run/Walk”.

Third…You have to take into consideration the elements, and conditions, you were running in. It was cold and windy. That in itself would have made me turn around and go home. All those donations were already accounted for, and in the bank!

Last of all…You ran part of the race. You walked part of the race. You completed the race. I am so proud of your commitment to helping those who cannot help themselves. That’s a very good thing. You took ‘you’ out of the picture to give your fellow man/woman/child, some much needed funding to fight this disease. Your passion for this cause is amazing.

I Love You!